Dear Julie,
It's been a while since I wrote to you last time. How have you been these days?
I do do do hope you are feeling better and having fun more or less!
I have tried to keep myself busy so that I don't always think of him and miss him.
In a way, it has been a good way to avoid being depressed all the time. However, like today, there is nothing much I need to do, I have been nurvus and kinda depressed, thinking of him and missing him...
Ugh, how much time will I need to just get over him?!
I have been letting myself take time to get over him, and it has been already about 3 months!
But still, I cannot even forget about him?
What's wrong with me?
However, I just strongly think that I gotta learn to love MYSELF.
It's not easy at all to me to enjoy being single and alone.
It is not easy and fun at all to have "by myself time" now... I don't know why and when I forget how to enjoy my single life.
Before I met him, I had been dumped, but still I didn't totally forget about enjoying alone time.
But now, I don't really know what to do all by myself... and I do realize it is really sad.
I gotta love myself.
I gotta enjoy just being with myself.
Julie, wish me luck, please!
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Friday, October 5, 2012
crazy?
Dear Julie,
am i getting crazy?
it has been about a month already since he just suddently decided to dump me. the unbearable heart-ache is getting weak little by little, i assume. sometimes i even feel like im getting over him somehow.
i still think of him every freaking day, and it makes me sad and miserable, but i believe it is natural to think of him and miss him now and then after a heart breaking breakup.
however, i sometimes just cannot believe what i think or feel... the last moment, i was thinking like "oh, hey, ive been thinking of him for this whole day, and it doesn't hurt that much. i even think i might be able to handle the situation if he tells me he is already seeing a new girl.". And the next moment, i think like "i miss him so much. why did he have to leave me so suddenly? if i change, will he come back to me? what can i do to make him come back to me? can i call him? can i text him?".
this rollercoster of my feelings drives me crazy. i feel im so unstable and weak. and it clearly says im still stuck in the bottom of the breakup, and i still cannot get over him at all after all.
hey, Julie, i wanna believe that even this kind of craziness is still common among heart broken girls, and it will get better somehow later.
am i getting crazy?
it has been about a month already since he just suddently decided to dump me. the unbearable heart-ache is getting weak little by little, i assume. sometimes i even feel like im getting over him somehow.
i still think of him every freaking day, and it makes me sad and miserable, but i believe it is natural to think of him and miss him now and then after a heart breaking breakup.
however, i sometimes just cannot believe what i think or feel... the last moment, i was thinking like "oh, hey, ive been thinking of him for this whole day, and it doesn't hurt that much. i even think i might be able to handle the situation if he tells me he is already seeing a new girl.". And the next moment, i think like "i miss him so much. why did he have to leave me so suddenly? if i change, will he come back to me? what can i do to make him come back to me? can i call him? can i text him?".
this rollercoster of my feelings drives me crazy. i feel im so unstable and weak. and it clearly says im still stuck in the bottom of the breakup, and i still cannot get over him at all after all.
hey, Julie, i wanna believe that even this kind of craziness is still common among heart broken girls, and it will get better somehow later.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Dear Julie,
i totally forgot about this blog until now. its surprising.
so why did i come to remember this blog again? because i looked for a blog which i can express my feelings. again.
yes. i am at the bottom of my life. well, i assume it is not correct. i know my situation is not that bad actually. so now lets say i am feeling that i am at the place near the bottom of my life...
what happened? its really silly, but after all, i am just a girl(or a woman, if i need to be realistic) and it is killing me... he finally dumped me after these short/long 2 and half years.
i know what happened, but i dont know why it happened. or, hmm, maybe i know why it happened. whatever. it is just so hard. i mean, im feeling really down and depressed anyways.
hey, but julie, i cannot be like this forever! step by step, little by little, it will get better, right? til then, shout out whatever i feel, and feel better. even a little bit.
so why did i come to remember this blog again? because i looked for a blog which i can express my feelings. again.
yes. i am at the bottom of my life. well, i assume it is not correct. i know my situation is not that bad actually. so now lets say i am feeling that i am at the place near the bottom of my life...
what happened? its really silly, but after all, i am just a girl(or a woman, if i need to be realistic) and it is killing me... he finally dumped me after these short/long 2 and half years.
i know what happened, but i dont know why it happened. or, hmm, maybe i know why it happened. whatever. it is just so hard. i mean, im feeling really down and depressed anyways.
hey, but julie, i cannot be like this forever! step by step, little by little, it will get better, right? til then, shout out whatever i feel, and feel better. even a little bit.
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